There are reasons why you suffer with loneliness, feel lonely or are afraid of feeling lonely. When you feel lonely you feel that you don’t fit in. It seems that everybody else has a best friend, family that cares for them, goes out, has fun, and enjoys themselves.
When you are truly lonely you can be in a room with people and feel as if you are completely separated from them, as if you are covered by a layer that cannot be penetrated.
Many are tortured by feeling lonely and isolated. Other people often don’t know this about you. They may see you as having a family, pleasant work colleagues, and a social life and so forth, they see appearances that can easily be deceptive.
It is easy to think that because of ones differences one is the only one feeling this way. As the word says, loneliness, the very word convinces you that you are the only one who feels like this.
After having worked with clients for many years I understood that it doesn’t matter what age you are, if you are man or woman, child or adult, what culture or background you have, many people describe this feeling of loneliness to some extent. When you think of yourself as lonely you feel yourself separated from others.
Clients say to me ‘Every time I am on my own, I feel lonely and miserable.’ It is a major problem. It starts in childhood. No child is accepted as it is. Children are punished when doing something teachers or parents don’t agree with and rewarded for behaviours that the child may not even like. Early on we lose track of who we truly are. That is the reason people do not want to be alone, because with someone else around they cannot completely relax. The moment you completely relax thoughts come up, tensions come up that you don’t know how to handle. It is a little uncomfortable. Loneliness is a bit like an illness, it makes you feel miserable, tense and anxious and its courses are always found in separation and fear. The fear of loneliness is one of the most common fears in adults.